May 162012

This is in response to a question by CaptainAlone on how to avoid getting too attached.

The idea is that there are one of two perspectives that you can take about having success with women.

  1. A position of scarcity. What does it mean to come from a position of scarcity? It means that you believe that in your current state, if you were to find a woman, you better latch on because this is such a rare event for you. Your success with women is scarce, so when one does come around that you can have success with, you feel you better close and you can’t lose her. Because if you lose her, then you may never find another woman…or at least not for a very long time. This is where neediness and getting too attached plays a large factor.
  2. A position of abundance. This means that when a woman comes your way, you don’t even feel the need to go out with her. You do, but you don’t have to. You don’t need her. Why? You are living in abundance. You know that if you don’t go out with her, you can go out next week and meet more women. Dates are not scarce. Dating is plentiful. When dating is plentiful, you have options. When you have options, you have confidence. When you have confidence, you are even more attractive. As a result, success breeds success. And since you are living in abundance, you don’t feel that you need to latch on. You don’t feel attached to anyone in particular. You want the best girl that you can possibly get. You don’t want to settle. You know you can do better.

So to summarize, when you feel that opportunities to go out with women are scarce, you are more likely to get attached too early because you like the idea of the relationship. You’re afraid if you lose her, you won’t get another chance. But when you live in abundance, you feel you can have any women you want, so there’s no need to get attached.

That’s just one idea. I can go on for hours on this.

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