May 212012

I just came back from vacation, visiting one of my best friends on the panhandle. It truly was an incredible weekend. We drank and partied with his friends down there for 4 days straight, staying up to watch the sunrise. The crew down there is amazing and I made some great friends. It’s sad returning to DC. The weekend culminated in what is known as a “Rubiks Cube” party. The premise of the party is that you show up in cheap clothes. Each article of clothing that you wear should be a different color from the Rubiks cube. Then, throughout the night, you trade clothes with people so that by the end, you are all the same color. I started the night wearing a yellow button down, blue t-shirt, red shorts, red tie, and green goggles around my neck. Finished the night with a red bandanna, red necklace, red tie, red shorts, and red scrubs. Absolute insane fun. The pictures are so ridiculous.

The part I would like to share with all of you is what I witnessed fully for the first time. This group of friends down there are the epitome of “0 fucks given”. They live in their own realities and couldn’t care less what others thought of them. Living in your own reality is an extremely attractive quality.

At 130am, 20 of the Rubiks cubes party-goers all go to the most popular bar in town dressed like absolute fools. It would never occur to any of us to go out like this on any other night, but we ran as a crew. Think about how ridiculous I looked wearing red gym shorts, red scrubs, red tie, and a red bandanna? Who in their right mind goes out like that? But I was so much in my own reality, nothing could have phased me at that point. I felt amazing and so did all 20 of us. We storm the dance floor and all the onlookers were in utter shock. All we were doing was having the time of our lives, dancing our asses off and thinking about nothing. There was no such thing as approach anxiety, no such thing as fear, or “what will that girl think of me” talk. We were living in our own realities. And in our realities, everyone wanted to be us. And if everyone wanted to be us, how could we possibly be afraid of anything?

In Advanced, Step 3, Tyler Durden describes bars and clubs as a kind of pool. In a pool, there are warm and colder parts, and people tend to gravitate towards the warmer parts of a pool. He relates this to women in bars as gravitating towards where the energy and fun is. So if there’s a dance floor, the girls are going to naturally gravitate to where all of the emotion and excitement is. Women tend to live in their emotions much more so than men. They get their energy from the environment around them. Men do not. Men generate their current emotional state from within themselves. And since women get their state from the environment, naturally they will head towards the more energetic parts of the bar/club. I finally saw this, and partook in it, first hand. And it was awesome and enlightening.

One of the guys, Kevin — totally crazy guy, walks over to one part of the dance floor that is completely empty. He starts dancing by himself. The rest of us see this, start laughing our asses off, but then realize we need to join in. We run to him and start dancing wildly and out of control. The 4 of us dancing alone in an empty part of the dance floor suddenly changed the entire dynamic of the environment in a matter of seconds. We all looked ridiculous, but that did not matter. We were living in our own realities. 10 seconds later, a beautiful girl just walks up to me and starts grinding on me like crazy. Was it that simple?

I must have danced with 10 girls that night. It was so much fun.

Living in your own reality is such an attractive quality in a man. Women know this instinctively. It tells them that this is a man who does not need to seek the approval of others to feel good about themselves. They are fun, humorous, confident, and sure of themselves. The fact that I can be dressed how I was and not give a single fuck, dancing like I owned the place with extremely high energy is just irresistible to women. It doesn’t matter how you look. If you can make that woman feel those emotions she wants to feel, she will want to be around you.

If a woman tries to rattle you, whether it be something she says or does. If you show that it affects you good or bad, then you are letting her reality rule you. Being non-reactive to her can be very attractive. Her reality cannot affect you.

I don’t expect you to go out to a bar or club right this second, go to an empty part of it and start dancing like a maniac by yourself, but you should be aware of, and most importantly, know why this would be effective. If you have an understanding of how women’s emotions are derived from the environment around them, you will start to see things more clearly.







Books and Resources

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  5 Responses to “Live in your own reality”

  1. […] The core of inner game is that you build yourself from the inside out. You begin to internalize themes like confidence, motivation, masculinity, and positive energy. You are awesome. You live in your own reality. […]

  2. […] Living in your own reality — If you don’t give any fucks, you are living in your own reality. You are unaffected by the realities around you. Here is the epitome of giving 0 fucks and living in your own reality. […]

  3. […] Being completely unaffected by those around you. Legitimately giving 0 fucks. Here I describe the experience. I came back with a whole new outlook. I found /r/howtonotgiveafuck and /r/fitness. I read […]

  4. […] enjoying life. Essentially, you are killing your own frame and not living in your own reality. Check out this post I wrote after I came back from a vacation that opened my eyes. It was after this instance that I started to trust […]

  5. […] Here’s my blog post on that moment in my life […]


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