I’m going to outline what commonly happens when I have a successful cold approach that results in getting a number or a kiss. Obviously, this is just my style and other people have their own way of doing this. I’m not trying to create an army of former Forever Alones that read my content as if it were the word of God. No, do what works for you…This is just what works for me. For now, at least.
- Be in a good frame of mind. Be “in state”. What does this mean? Take a look at yourself and see what kind of energy level you are at. If you are low energy and you approach a group of people with higher energy than you, they will ignore you because you bring 0 value to the group. You are a value taker rather than a value giver. So when you approach a group, you have to bring something with you. Just bring your energy. You are the one that is awesome, and they want to meet you.
- Approach/Open. For this example, let’s say I see two girls standing to my left waiting to get drinks at the bar. I will turn my head (not my body, so I’m still facing a little away from them) and I will open them. There could be a whole blog post devoted to just this, and there will be. But for now, let’s just say I use the female opinion opener from The Game (step 4, fundamentals). “Hey guys, I need a female opinion on something,” I say. They respond saying okay. “Okay, well real quick because I gotta get back to my friends, but we have one friend, Todd, who has been dating this girl for about 3 months now. However, he’s still really good friends with his ex-girlfriend and they talk all the time. His current girlfriend isn’t happy about that and wants them to stop talking. How do you all feel about this?” 90% of the time, whatever the first girl says, all the other girls will agree with it. It’s fascinating, really. So, we briefly discuss this meaningless issue, as it is only a facade to begin a conversation (girls know this and they are okay with this). I exercise good, attractive, and confident body language throughout, not showing any interest in the girl I’m attracted to. If you have a wingman, this is the time he should enter the conversation.
- Transition. I’ll say something like, “How do you two know each other?” The responses are completely varied as sometimes they know each other for years, or sometimes they just met. Whatever the case, I usually find that there is enough information gathered from this answer to ask follow up questions and share my own thoughts. Instead of asking what they do for work, say, “How do you spend most of your time?”
- Surface Rapport Building. Rapport is very much my style. Here is where I’ll use an ice breaker to get everyone settled down and talkative with an icebreaker. “If you had to keep only one of your five senses for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?” I’ll also share some stories, demonstrate higher value, etc, all the stuff you should be reading in the books.
- Isolate. For me, this is the most difficult. Especially if I’m out alone without a wingman. I’ve been lucky sometimes in that a random guy would come up to us and I’ll put him on the other girl while I pull my girl away so we can be alone. If you have a wingman, just say something, “let’s head over to the other side of the bar, less crowded.” Really, it could be anything to get the girl to be alone.
- Deep Rapport Building. By this point, I will know 100% if the girl is attracted to me or not depending on her body language and other factors. If I know she’s attracted to me, then it’s all about building deep rapport. We start talking about our lives and I’ll ask her a lot of questions. I won’t have complimented her at all to this point, but I’ll throw out some things like, “Hmm, I had my doubts about you, but you seem kinda cool.” Remember, teasing is a huge rapport builder. People tease when they feel comfortable with each other. I might do my handshake-body language routine and The Cube at this point (Cube is outlined in the game).
- Close. For me, it’s all about the body language at this point. If everything lined up, we are holding each other hip to hip. It’s really up to me to just go in for the kiss. If I feel we haven’t established that comfort between us, but there’s still attraction, I’ll go for the number. “Would you like to keep in contact?” I’ll say. She responds with yes. “Great, how can we do that?” …”Oh, I can give you my number.”