May 302012

Alright. Let’s say you got the girl’s number and you want to see her again. How do you go from getting her number to the first date? First of all, it’s important to note that not every girl who gives you their number will go out on a date with you.

Again, this is just what I do. You can ignore all of this if you don’t like it. Come up with something else and share it with the forum.

1. Acquiring the number. I got this from The Game and it has never failed me. When I want to ask the girl for her number I say, “Hey, would you like to keep in contact?”. She will either respond with “yes” or “no”. If she says yes, then respond with “Great, how can we do that?” Almost without fail, the girl says, “Oh, I can give you my number” (or some variation of it). I love this so much because you’re not asking for her number. She’s giving it to you! If you ask for her number, she is forced to think about it and may decide no. Instead, you’re simply asking if she even wants to stay in contact with you. And if she does, how is it possible.

When a girl is about to give me her number, I take out my Android and launch an app that’s on my home screen called QuickContact. It takes you to the contact entry form immediately. I then type in her name (I ask her for her last name too. It’s one more little piece of investment on her end), and then give her the phone so she can type in the number herself.

2. Number Acquired. She gave you her number. There is so much advice, good and bad, out there about what to do now. Wait 3 days? No. Definitely not. She will forget who you are. After she gives me her number, I tell her that I’ll send her a text tonight. I never call her phone right away so she has my number, unless she specifically asks me to do it. That’s just my personal style though.

Later that night, after I get home and it’s late, I’ll be laying in bed, about to go to sleep. I’ll send her this text: “Hey it’s [shakedown_st], but don’t text me before 9am, I need my beauty sleep”. It’s just a fun text and it is the perfect barometer for whether or not she is interested in seeing me again. I’ll either get a text back right away, or a text after 9am the next morning saying something like, “It’s after 9. How was your beauty sleep?”

You can exchange a few texts here and ask her how the rest of the night went, etc. But I tend to avoid having conversations over text. I never send more than 1 text at a time. Messages are short, cocky, and funny.

The point of text messaging is not to have a conversation. It’s to schedule the next date.

3. Ask for the date. After getting her response, I know she is interested in seeing me again. I’ll text her in the afternoon. Here’s one I used to use: “Hey [her name]. Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to go out with me for ice cream on Tuesday at 9pm. This message will self destruct in five seconds.” It’s another cute message and the girl responds, typically role playing. I get, “I accept the mission. Where is the rendezvous point?” and other responses like that. Then just schedule a time and place.

Another text I use now is simply, “tea or sangria?”…Simple. Direct.

4. Date scheduled. I usually schedule the date two or three days after the initial meeting. No more than that because the longer you wait, the greater chance she’ll flake on you. Getting girls to not flake is literally 50% of the dating battle. Girls are going to flake on you.

Once the date is scheduled, I won’t text her until the day of the date. The day of the date, I’ll send her a text around 10am saying, “See you at 9!”

5. Date arrival. I always show up before she does. It’s not polite to keep a lady waiting, so make sure you get there earlier. I also try my hardest to let her “see” me first. I find it a little awkward if you lock eyes as she’s a block away and you wait and look at her as she walks towards you. So if I see her coming, I’ll quickly turn away and pretend like I didn’t see her. So then she walks up to me and says “hello”, I turn around and act surprised and happy to see her with open palms. I’ll bring her in and give her a kiss on the cheek if we had some really good rapport when we first met.

I won’t text her saying “I’m on my way.” Typically, she will do that and I’ll respond.

In my experience, girls are typically late. 15 minutes seems like a lifetime to be waiting, but it’s reality for many girls. I won’t text her asking her where she is until at least 20 minutes go by. It’s common courtesy that she should text you if she is going to be late, but if she doesn’t, I still don’t like to text, “Hey let me know if you’re running late” because I feel like it’s a shit-test sorta and if you send that text, you fail. I don’t know, that’s just my opinion.

If she texts you saying she is running late, I respond with, “What’s the rush, got a hot date to get to?”

The date has started — off you go!





Books and Resources

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  2 Responses to “You got her number, now what? Going from number to first date”

  1. […] think I’m going to let my nerd show. I was reading another blog called The Shakedown Lab and this blog recommends using the […]


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