This is in response to smibly’s post here. Smibly asks if there is a “tipping” point to self improvement, where once you reach it, you don’t go back into relapsing as a depressed forever alone. He is essentially having difficulty getting started. This is completely natural.
I have not heard of a tipping point personally, but if I was to suggest two beliefs that are necessary to successfully begin their journey, they are:
- You have to want to improve yourself.
- You have to believe that it is possible to improve yourself.
These seem like two very basic statements, and they are. But one would be surprised how often they would find forever alones who don’t want to improve themselves. And the ones that do often believe they are so far gone that it is impossible for them to do anything about it. So one has to ask themselves if they want to improve..and if they do, do they believe they can actually improve? If you answered yes to both questions, then you are ready for self-improvement.
I find that a lot of forever alones believe they can read the sidebar material or a couple blog posts here in SL and think they’ll start having instant success. This is incredibly unrealistic. These blog posts and the forum are really only the tip of the iceberg. An introduction at best. It is to motivate you to dive deep into the material. The only way to truly learn is if you hit the books. I have read two dozen books on self improvement and other assorted topics in the last 7 months and I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.
/r/faimprovement and ShakedownLab are not the Matrix. One does not simply stick a needle in their head and download all there is to know in a couple of seconds.
This is why we have a step-by-step guide at Shakedown Method. It is very possible to read 5 books in 3 months for the Fundamentals section. Take your time with it. Read everything genuinely and fully. I make 0 money from this at all — it is my true suggestion on beginning to improve yourself. Start reading those books outlined in the step by step guide. And go in order. After 3 months of reading and practicing, and you still feel just as bad about yourself as you do right now, then professional help is definitely necessary. Your head isn’t in the right place for improving yourself. 5 books is all I ask. I promise that once you’re through with it, you’ll be so determined to improve yourself, you’ll continue right along. Even if you don’t have any success with women at that point, you’ll still feel better about your potential.
Don’t knock it until you’ve done it.