Jul 202012

One of my favorite subreddits is /r/howtonotgiveafuck. I advise you all to subscribe to that subreddit because it really is awesome. I want to make a post now about “Not Giving a Fuck” and why / how it is an extremely attractive quality in a man. But first, this doesn’t mean you can’t be an emotional guy. Emotions are important, but not giving a fuck is different and I will explain why.

I’m generalizing here, but women care and give many fucks about the things around them. I’d say more so than men. Women worry about everything. They worry about their relationships, their careers, their friends, and their favorite TV characters.  My mother is the epitome of these qualities. Here is a thread in /r/howtonotgiveafuck asking if “Not Giving a Fuck” is an attractive quality. The following is a response from female user Lenalovegood.

As a female, I tend to find that a male not giving a fuck is a nice change of pace from my lifestyle, which is completely riddled with having to care about and fret over EVERYTHING (I’m going to grad school).

In general, yeah, I’d say a lot of females are attracted to that kind of personality; it’s refreshing not having to deal with unnecessary drama. On the same token, sometimes it comes across as disinterest in the woman, which can (usually) make her want to be with the guy even more. Hard to explain; I can elaborate in necessary 🙂

There are so many great points in this reply.

  1. “Change of pace from my lifestyle” — Opposites attract. In a relationship, someone needs to fill the masculine role and someone needs to fill the feminine role. This is true for gay relationships, too. The point here is, if women are worrying about everything around them, they want to be someone who they feel secure with who isn’t affected by happenings around them. You are a man and she needs to feel that no matter what happens, you will be a rock. Let her do the worrying for you. So when a woman meets a guy with the complete Not Give a Fuck attitude, she will be more attracted to him. But real quick, let’s take the flip side. Let’s say you are a man who is incapable of not giving a fuck. You have so many fucks to give and you care and worry about everything. You should probably seek out a girl who is one that does not give any fucks. If you’re interested in the masculine/feminine relationship dynamic I recommend The Way of the Superior Man.
  2. “comes across as disinterest in the woman” — Human beings want what they can’t have. That’s why some of my go-to statements when I’m talking to a girl for the first time include, “Wow, you are like the weirdest person I ever met.” and “Wow, we can’t even be friends. We can’t even hang out!” This is the opposite of neediness. I’ll make statements that show I’m totally disinterested in her and essentially friendzone her. This topic deserves its own post, but to summarize briefly. Attractive women are so used to being hit on and catered to by men, that if you friendzone her, her reaction will be, “How come he isn’t hitting on me like everyone does? Does he not like me? Am I not pretty enough for him? How many girls are chasing him if he doesn’t need to hit on me? Who is he?” This is awesome right here. Be different from all the other guys and friendzone her.
  3. Confidence — Not Giving a Fuck is tied very closely with confidence. And confidence is attractive.
  4. Living in your own reality — If you don’t give any fucks, you are living in your own reality. You are unaffected by the realities around you. Here is the epitome of giving 0 fucks and living in your own reality.


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