Dec 022012

I made this post in response to ReallyLikes post in our subreddit.

You remind me of myself in some aspects. So I’m going to write out this response as if I’m writing to my 16 year old self.

You have a number of advantages right now.

  • You’re 16. This is an advantage because you seemed to have become self-aware at a young age. Knowing that you need improvement with girls (and most importantly seeking a way to do it) at this age is awesome. Others might tell you, “You’re so young, just live your life. Why are you even worrying about this?” Forget them. I wish I was half as intelligent as you are when I was your age. You’re asking the right questions here. When I was 16, I knew I struggled with girls, but I didn’t even realize to do something about it. I thought I just sucked and that was life. No. If you start now, you can become amazingly successful socially. So take full advantage of your youth.
  • You are an excellent writer. You have interests. You are bright, intelligent. You’ve had some hardships, and you’re mature enough to know that these have affected you negatively. But that you know that you cannot let that define your life.

So let’s begin your track for self improvement. Aspects about you that need to change.

  • Your self-esteem. Right here. Women have some type of sixth sense, where they know when a guy has low self-esteem. He has no confidence. This lowers his value as a man, a provider, a protector, and a lover. As a result, he is not attractive. You know, what’s funny, is that when I started learning all about PUA and what not from /r/seduction, I was having mild success in talking to women, getting a few numbers, etc… But nothing. And I mean nothing compares to the success you have with women when you have absolute and genuine confidence. Women can sense when a man is made of confidence. They can smell it. You radiate a type of energy around you that draws people in. You might not even be doing anything differently in life — it’s just an aura about you. The way you carry yourself. And suddenly you go from being this creepy guy who doesn’t talk to some really cool guy that everyone wants to get to know.
  • Stop seeking validation from others. Reading between the lines, it appears you are seeking validation. What is seeking validation? Read thisthis, and this. In short, seeking validation or reaction from others is the idea that you are baiting them to say something nice about you. This is wholly unattractive in a man. Real men don’t need external validation. They know they are awesome at a core level. For example, if you’re talking to a girl and you’re like, “I can’t seem to get a girlfriend and I don’t know why,” you are baiting her to say something nice about you such as, “You’re such a great catch. I’m sure you’ll find an amazing girl someday.” This is the lowest form of validation seeking. What you should be saying to yourself is, “I’m a man of high value. I am awesome. And I don’t give a flying fuck what other people think of me. Women want me.” Start saying it now even if you’re not living it or believing it yet. Because when you do believe it (and you will eventually), the rewards will be plentiful.
  • Get out there. “I’m a social recluse.” This will get you nowhere. Women aren’t going to show up at your door and walk down into your creepy basement with you to play Skyrim. Develop hobbies and try new interests that put you out there into the world. Get out of your house. Force yourself outside your comfort zone. Force yourself to talk to others. It is the only way to improve.
  • Learn the fundamentals of interacting with women and people in general. There are so many little things that you can do to make yourself more approachable. This isn’t for a single Reddit comment, but that’s what this whole subreddit is about. So here’s what I want you to do. Read all of the featured posts on the sidebar. If you like what you’ve read and feel that reading more will be helpful, then it is time to dive into theBooks and Resources. Read all the fundamental book list in order. Starting with No More Mr. Nice Guy. These books are going to change your entire perspective on how you view your life and your behavior. It will really make you look at yourself and think about improving everything about you. If you read all the books from the fundamentals list, you’ll probably be so entranced with improving yourself, you’ll move right into the advanced list. The amount you will learn about social dynamics and the way human beings are will totally blow your mind. And with your high intelligence level, I think you’ll appreciate it even more. But start with book 1: No More Mr. Nice Guy. Of all books for people in /r/foreveralone, that is the most important.

When you get to where I am, the thought to write something like this will never occur to you,

I’m sure I made myself sound like a fool somewhere in my post

because A) you know you are awesome, and B) you won’t give a fuck even if you do sound like a fool.

I can go on for hours, but there’s only so much room in a Reddit post. This topic is too large to condense into a few hundred characters. But I’ve said enough and pointed you in the direction of enough resources to get you started at least. We encourage you to come back and post updates on your progress and your reviews on the various books.


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