I want to write a quick post on humor because I feel as if this topic hasn’t really been blogged about much here on SL. Studies show that women like men who make them laugh easily — and men like women who laugh easily at their jokes. It’s a nice fit. So men -> Be funny. Women -> Laugh at all the jokes your man makes.
There is actually a corollary to this. If a women has a crush on a guy, she will instinctively laugh at even his worst/unfunny jokes. She’ll just find him funny and not even know why.
Quick example to illustrate this point. I was at a winery with a bunch of people for a friend’s birthday a while back. A girl and I started talking and began flirting back and forth. I’d make jokes and she’d laugh really loud and touch my shoulder — all the usual signs.
Later, while with the rest of the group, I made a really unfunny joke. No one laughed except for the girl I had been flirting with. She laughed so hard that everyone looked at her like she was crazy. Just kept going on too, just like that. My other friend turns to me and says, “Dude, she is like creaming her pants for you.”
I mean, it was painfully obvious, but that’s how important humor is in the context of flirting and social dynamics. If you can make people laugh, you’re already ahead of the curve.
Now everyone’s style of humor is different, but humor really boils down to one thing. Doing or saying the “unexpected”. But a lot of people take this statement the wrong way and think they have to do outrageous acts in order to be funny. This is actually not true and can even be detrimental. More often or not, it’s the little things.
Example: Sitting at a dinner table with several other people.
Girl: “You’re from Long Island, right? Do you know Bayville?”
Me: “Sure do. I used to skip to school and head out to the beach all the time.”
Girl: “Cool, I have a friend who went to Locust Valley High School.”
Me: “No way! Oh my god! Locust Valley High School, you’ve got to be kidding me!” (made a really big deal about this)
Girl: “Yeah! Did you go there??”
Me: “No, not at all!”
Okay, so after writing this, maybe this example sucks. But everyone was laughing hysterically at the time. Everyone thought the conversation was going to go one way and I played it up. Last second I pulled the rug out from under it. Unexpected. Get the idea?
One book that really helped me a huge amount is the book on improv. It helped me learn basic techniques about being able to improvise and story-tell. By far, the most useful of all techniques is “Yes and…” You can “Yes and – ” anything until you decide to break the conversation. It is also known as “agree and amplify”. You take whatever is said, agree with it and then escalate it to absurdity. It can actually result in some pretty funny times.
“You’re really awesome, you know that?”
“Yeah, obviously. I mean I won the last 7 World Awesome Championships.”
Why is this funny? Everyone expects you to say, “Oh, you too!” or “Nah, you’re just saying that.” (this is actually detrimental because you’re seeking further validation). So the “yeah, obviously” will completely catch them off guard. It’s unexpected. Try it the next time someone complements you. They will laugh, I promise. Just be obvious that you’re joking by using your facial expressions and body language so they don’t mistake you for being an asshole. This does take practice though, so you have to keep at it until you find the right mix. If you can’t ‘agree and amplify’ (and you shouldn’t do it all the time as it gets tiring), you’re best off just saying, “Thanks” and that’s it.
This has the added benefit of being “cocky-funny” which many girls find very attractive as well.
Give it a shot. If it’s not for you, then no sweat. At least you tried.